DVD Contracted

Contracted: harsh reviews so far, therefore I'll be the first to change the pace a little.

I've watched horror ever since I can remember, love it, all types, slashers, zombies, ghosts and so on. I graded this one with a 6, maybe a little more than I should, but it definitely has to be over 5, and I'll give you the reasons: 1) the plot was pretty OK, more complex than you see at others 2) characters were divert, one of that, one of this, pretty much natural people 3) dialogue: seems dumb sometimes, might be OK if you consider the nature of the situation each time 4) the ending: did not see that one coming, I for one thought it was heading to a different conclusion.

I actually was drawn into it, I will not criticize the fact that it didn't rely on gore, blood or nudity, always loved diversity. So, to this strange little movie, that shows how a girl can change over the days, I say: bravo! It was not great, but it does move you slowly to the edge of the seat.

Contracted: worth a shot!

As a big horror fan, particularly the body horror subgenre, I was excited to see this movie at Chicago International Film Festival. Unfortunately, it's so utterly, astonishingly preposterous that enjoyment was impossible. "The Toxic Avenger" is more plausible and well-reasoned than this.

The main character almost immediately suffers a horrible symptom that would have any sensible woman dialing 911, but she opts to work a shift at a restaurant instead. I'll grant the filmmakers that maybe her disease is dialing up her stupidity, but 30 minutes in, her outward appearance is horrifying – the makeup effects are the sole redeeming element – and none of the other characters seem to notice, despite the fact that these same characters made a point to tell her how horrible she looked 10 minutes earlier, when she had no outwardly visible symptoms. Then again, a trip to the ER, rather than to a doctor whose STD exam doesn't require the patient to remove her jeans, would have ended the movie 15 minutes in.

Worst of all, the director is too cowardly to really go for the gross- out, other than the opening shot and one well-executed shot near the midpoint. Every other opportunity to make the movie truly horrifying is fumbled. For example, the medical exam could've been a terrifying "Dead Ringers"-esque nightmare, but instead it was just stultifying nonsense.

I would like to say that it's so bad it's good, but it is most decidedly not. The ability to elicit laughter might have made it passable, but instead it only elicits groans. I'm happy that the filmmakers were able to sell this dreck to some apparently rohypnol-addled exec at IFC, but they've already been paid. There's no reason to feel obligated to spend money on this mess. It'll be streaming soon enough. Skip it, unless you want to spend an evening going, "Seriously?!?" and "Really?!?" for 85 minutes. If it's low-budget gynecological horror you want, rent "Teeth" instead. It's disgusting AND clever.