DVD The Bates Haunting

Right, already at the opening of the movie, when Bam Margera appeared, I was ready to turn off the movie. I just knew right there and then that this was going to be bad. And then you see Ryan Dunn (who can't act even if his life depended on it) is listed to be in the movie, and it seems it would go from bad to worse.

Right, well "The Bates Haunting" is a slasher movie, but ultimately not in the higher end of the scale. The movie wasn't particularly interesting, and the story was just so-so. And the fact that the acting throughout most of the movie was amateurish and staggering, really didn't help elevate the movie out of the gutter of mediocrity.

The story is about Agnes Rickover (played by Jean Louise O'Sullivan) who sees her friend burnt to death at a local haunting attraction. And she ends up working at the very same attraction later on as all of her job possibilities are bled dry (no pun intended here). But things are escalating at the attraction and the make-believe deaths of various people to scare people turns out to be real killings. Someone or something is after Agnes, and wants her blood.

Alright, well fairly average slasher storyline here, but it was just badly acted, badly scripted and executed on the screen. The movie was anything but scary and there weren't any shocks throughout the movie.

The movie's poster/DVD cover makes the movie seem far better than it actually is, and also insinuates a much higher level of production value. Guess you can't judge a movie by its cover, eh?

If you are looking for some slasher entertainment, I would recommend that you get your kicks elsewhere. This movie was not really worth spending about an hour and a half on.

A year after her best friend Lilly was roasted in a freak accident at The Bates Motel and Haunted Hayride, Agnes reluctantly takes a job at the yearly Halloween attraction's concession stand. But before the park even opens, the bodies begin to pile up, so Agnes seeks to find a connection to Lilly's death and the new string of murders.

I went into "The Bates Haunting" knowing virtually nothing about it, expecting the absolute worst… and was pleasantly surprised by it. Don't get me wrong, this is unquestionably direct-to-video fare (bad acting and shoestring effects galore) but there's a slick look, a few decent performances (leading lady O'Sullivan ain't bad and Fletcher devours the scenery as semi-retarded redneck Junior Bates), lots of funny moments and one-liners, a little T&A, some gore (though there's an annoyingly high ratio of old-school cutaways in lieu of practical/CGI effects) and a nice twist (not unpredictable but unexpected). Casual moviegoers will doubtlessly hate it, but the film's quirky enough that it could develop a small cult following.

If you're seeking a big connection to the Universal-owned Norman Bates "Psycho" franchise (as the cover suggests), you'll be utterly disappointed… though there's more than a couple references to Norman/Mother and the basic plot is the same as Robert Bloch's novel "Psycho House" (murders occur at the opening of a Bates Motel theme park attraction). It's really a shame that they didn't utilize that book's story – it would've made a much better movie. "Jackass" fans will also be disappointed by the blink-and-you-missed-it appearance of Bam Margera (in a real commercial for the park?) and a mildly amusing but only slightly longer scene with the late Ryan Dunn as an annoyed customer in an empty pizza place.

In the end, "The Bates Haunting" is a thinly-veiled commercial for the Pennsylvania tourist attraction (presumably starring local actors) which features shockingly little of the park, but if you're in a frame of mind to enjoy an innocuous low-budget horror-comedy, there are certainly much worse ways to waste 75 minutes of your life.