|DVD The Tourist
Run time: 103 min
Genres: Action | Romance | Thriller
Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Writers: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, Christopher McQuarrie
Stars: Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany
Elise (Angelina Jolie) sits next to an American tourist, Frank (Johnny Depp), on a train going to Venice. She has chosen him as a decoy, making believe that he is her lover who is wanted by police. Not only will they need to evade the police, but also the mobster whose money her lover stole. Written by Douglas Young (the-movie-guy)
|Plot Keywords: tourist, train, mobster, russian, american tourist|
Country: USA, France, Italy
Release Date: 10 December 2010 (UK)
Budget: $100,000,000 (estimated)
Opening Weekend: £1,341,143 (UK) (10 December 2010)
Gross: $67,631,157 (USA) (4 March 2011)
Millions, two huge stars, a director with a reputation and a fictional sounding name, and of course, Venice! Nothing works, nothing! The chemistry between Depp and Jolie is virtually non existent. She is dressed in ridiculous, supposedly elegant, gowns but she looks as if she's wearing costumes. Remember Audrey Hepburn? She was never worn by her dresses, she was ahead. The dialog is not to be believed – Julian Fellowes is listed among the writers but, I can't believe it's true. The meet-cute on the train, done so beautifully in th past by a variety of directors and stars, falls flat here, flat! Johnny Depp is one of my favorites but here he looks puffy and detached. How can anyone managed to make Depp look bad? I don't know but they did. Jolie is a big star but here, she seems unused to wear dresses. I couldn't believe her walk through Venice. "Hot to Trot" comes o mind. Imagine, Audrey Hepburn walking purposely through Venice in a ball gown. Or Carole Lombard, or Grace Kelly, or Loren or Deneuve, Gene Tirney, Kay Kendall… I can think of dozens. This was really bad. The only saving grace a running joke that has Depp's character, not speaking Italian, speaks Spanish to the Italians and the Italians respond in Spanish, specially the scene with Christian De Sica (son of Vittorio) in which De Sica replays "De nada" So, the lesson learned is the eternal cliché. Not everything that glitters is gold. And this one, from a distance, glittered, big time
Considering the fact that Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie are two of the biggest stars in the world, you may have at one time flippantly claimed, "I'd pay $10 just to watch them read the phone book!" Well, if you decide to ignore my advice then you'll have the chance to put the equivalent of that theory to the test if you lay down your hard-earned dinero to see The Tourist.
Displaying the focus of an attention deficit schizophrenic, The Tourist weaves its way through an odd mixture of romantic, comedic, and mysterious elements. I have no problem with a film that embraces multiple genres, as long as it can do so effectively. The problem with this film is I was never sure what type of reaction the film wanted to evoke. The romantic orchestra soars one moment, we're treated to a few slapstick shenanigans the next, and then comes the brooding minor key to remind us that there's a mysteriously mysterious mystery afoot! I would not have been shocked had Rowan Atkinson made an appearance.
Plus, the "climactic" twist isn't as clever as it thinks. I suppose one might be forgiven if he or she finds it cutesy, but even if you do fall for it, by the time it arrives your interest will be too detached to care.
Eliciting little more than a few chuckles and a whole lot of apathy, The Tourist makes its mark as one of this year's most pointless and useless films. I can't single anything out as being truly awful, but neither can I think of a single reason why you should consider spending $10 a pop on a film that offers absolutely nothing new to the cinematic universe. The Italian backdrop is nice to look at, and Jolie and Depp are adequate, if not dynamic in their chemistry, but it takes more than the visual image of Depp traversing rooftops barefooted and in grandpa's pajamas to be deemed worthy of my time.
Entertain, engage, educate, or humor me. That's all I ask. The Tourist decided to go with "none of the above," therefore I encourage you to think twice before making this your selection.
Opening day (a Friday) enough of the critical reviews I read were negative enough, that I was asking 2 friends if they wanted to switch films – money is tight, yah know? But we agreed there was nothing wrong with checking The Tourist out, at worst there would be some eye candy.
Once again, I'm glad I blew the critics off – it's not that the negative reviews are wrong, exactly. There ARE too many scenes of entire rooms of people turning around to look at Jolie, like a perfume commercial (or someone with toilet paper stuck to their behind). Characters and relationships aren't fleshed out enough, and it's a predictable film – North by Northwest is far superior.
But. As one critic said, it's a frothy diversion, pleasant and fun. Thought the rumpled Depp was low-key and charming, and Jolie was gorgeous and a sympathetic character. There are some amusing twists, and our fairly full theater laughed a lot and was entertained by the film; at no point did any of us lose interest. There are far worse ways to spend a Friday night, and I'd recommend to anyone looking for some diversion and gorgeous views of Venice. Good for anyone looking to unwind after a long hard week.
This ugly little piece of slam dunk marketing featuring present day reigning sex symbols Angelina Jolie and Johnnny Depp in a tepid suspensor revolving around missing cash is a clunker from the get go. It's all face time for the hotties which I surmise are supposed to turn up the heat based on their good looks alone since the vapid plot and predictable pursuers lack even a scintilla of originality or suspense. It is a cynical cash grab by all involved. As Fats Waller would say "all that meat and no potatoes."
Woman of mystery Elise Ward (Jolie) boards a train bound for Venice where she enlists Frank Tupelo (Depp) as a useful idiot to help her elude the law and the mob to rendezvous with an accomplice who has made off with an obscene amount of money. The chase is on but the pace along with just about everything else is off.
Jolie has a mega fatale look but her dialog is trite and she delivers it with a comatose inflection that more or less says, with a face and body like this whose listening? She's more runway model in the middle of a show than character of intrigue morphing at times into a stunning and stilted statue. Depp looks bored and non-committal with his rube appointed resume (Wisconsin math teacher) and scruffy look that suaves up in time to get into a clinch with Ms. Jolie, nearly matching her lifelessness.
Director Florian von Donnersmark is a major disappointment. The Tourist is his follow-up to one of the finest films of this early century, Other Peoples Lives and the drop off in cinematic skill and suspense is equivalent to falling off of Everest. Lives, a sober but suspenseful crafted work dealing with the dreaded Stasi in drab East Germany was everything this sloppy escapist drivel isn't. Bad career choice or one hit wonder von Donnermark has only this to show output wise over the last four years and it's downright ghostly.
The Tourist is one bad trip of a movie that smugly attempts to overwhelm you with its stars and locale while paying cursory attention to story, detail and substance. It is a callous, bland product example of producer condescension for an audience that will settle for the crumbs of something that looks great but runs lousy. It should do just fine at the box office.